


Aubergine (Eggplant, if you're nasty)

by snapple_jax



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Dick Pics, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 05:40:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10984521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapple_jax/pseuds/snapple_jax
Summary: Trust Jonny to make sexting artistic.  Pat narrows his eyes...is that a filter?





	Aubergine (Eggplant, if you're nasty)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the High Dicking Prompt: Jonny accidentally (or not so accidently) sends Patrick a dick pic. Patrick has a lot of thoughts about this.

It happens in the middle of Patrick’s Supergirl marathon.  Somewhere in between a White Martian shape-shifting into the senator and Kara’s new boyfriend delivering potstickers, Patrick’s phone buzzes on the table.  Pat can see Jonny’s name flash on screen from his position on the recliner, but he’s mid-chew on the third slice of his extra-cheese thin crust pizza and he doesn’t need Jonny to harsh his vibe with questions about whether or not he blotted the excess oil and grease off.

 

At the end of the episode and feeling pleasantly drowsy, Patrick does a quick check of the message.  It’s innocuous enough.

 

**Hey, what are you doing?**

 

Pat types out a quick reply.

 

_ Nothing, just watching Fight Club _

 

Jon’s response is immediate, as if he’s been waiting patiently for Pat all this time.

 

**No, really**

 

Fuck Jon, Patrick could have totally been watching Fight Club.

 

_ Fuck you _

_ I shouldn’t have even said anything _

_ First rule and all _

 

A minute passes until the familiar “...” appears again.

 

**While You Were Sleeping is wrapping up on HBO**

**Pretty sure I found your “Fight Club”**

 

Shit.  Patrick loves that movie and he missed rewatching it with his sisters last Christmas.  

Pat sends a poo emoji.  Jonny hates when he does that.  Went on a tirade during one memorable flight delay about how it wasn’t a proper counter-argument or some shit.

 

**That’s not a proper counter-argument**

**I win**

 

Patrick sends over two more poo emojis and calls it a night.

 

*

 

As much as Pat would like to sleep in, years of being an early riser has him going through his normal morning routine and contemplating whether or not it was too windy for a round of golf later today.  He picks up his phone, swiping through an email about an upcoming Bauer ad and sending a quick response, before he spots another message from Jon.

 

Snickering as he remembers last night’s convo and fully prepared to send more piles of poo Jon’s way, Pat opens the message and hears a wheezing sound come from his own mouth as if someone socked him in the stomach.

 

Holy poo emoji.

 

There’s a dick on his phone.

 

Jonny sent him a dick.

 

A pic of his dick.

 

Jonny sent him a pic of _his_ _dick_.

 

It’s like staring into the eyes, eye?, of Medusa.  Patrick feels frozen, aware that the white-knuckled grip fisting,  _ holding  _ he meant  _ holding _ , his phone couldn’t be good for the small piece of technology.

 

See, the thing is, Pat knows that’s not just some random porn pic off the internet.  That’s Jonny’s dick.  He’s shared locker room showers with the guy for over ten years, of course he knows that’s Jon’s dick.  Not that Pat  _ stares _ .  He can’t help it that he’s got great peripheral vision.  You think those no-look passes just happen overnight?  No, Patrick’s all about constant vigilance.

 

But, he’s definitely staring now.  Patrick lowers himself onto the couch and snorts.  Trust Jonny to make sexting  _ artistic _ .  Pat narrows his eyes...is that a filter?

 

The lighting is soft and warm and Jonny’s skin has that healthy golden tan he always gets in the offseason, the contrast against the white sheets making him glow.  Obviously groomed, but Jonny’s never had much body hair anyway.  No visible tan lines, meaning he’s probably been wandering around naked like the exhibitionist nature freak Patrick knows him to be.  

 

The photo was taken at an angle, capturing the sharp jut of his hipbone.  Fingers wrapped around the base of his hard length, his boxer briefs are pushed down just low enough to settle underneath the heavy weight of his balls, a smear of precome slick and shiny on his stomach.  

 

Pat gulps, feeling his own dick stir in his sweatpants.  It’s unfair really, just how  _ pretty _ Jonny looks.  It’s unfair because Patrick’s mind is terribly good at imagining exactly how the parts of Jonny not on display would look.  How dark his eyes would get, how the deep ruddy flush would spread from the back of his neck, how good Patrick would be at making him lose all of that tight, tight focus.

 

Focus.   _ Focus, Pat _ , he mentally scolds himself.  The timestamp for the pic shows that it was sent at 1:37AM, well after they’d stopped texting last night.  Clearly, this had to be an accident.  

 

If it were someone like Shawzy or Burish, it would be right in line with their brand of humor.  A dick pic, 50/50 as to whether they’d actually use their own, followed up by a mom joke.  Pat would then be obligated to search online for some pornstar with a bigger package and respond in kind.

 

As far as jokes go, this isn’t particularly Jonny-esque at all.  Hell, Jonny’s idea of funny is more likely to be printed on popsicle sticks, followed by a cheesy smirk and a lame  _ just kidding _ tacked on at the end.

 

It must have been meant for someone else. 

 

Ignoring the pang of what’s most certainly  _ not  _ jealousy, Pat wonders how best to respond.  Did Jonny even realize he’d selected the wrong contact?  If so, then boy is he in for a surprise the next time he selects Pat’s name and their text history appears.  There was no subsequent “Oops my bad” message, unless Jonny is embarrassed and wishes to ignore that the whole thing ever happened in the first place.  Not that Jon has anything to be embarrassed about when it comes to that pic.  Pat lets out a low whistle, leaning his head against the back of the couch and scrubbing a hand over his face.

 

God, the whole thing is awkward and now all Pat can think about is who Jonny is hooking up with that he feels comfortable enough to send dick pics to.  All the while the damn “Read 10:14AM” notification is just sitting there like some sort of timebomb.  Thirty minutes have elapsed and all Pat’s accomplished is getting a hard on for his captain.

 

Sliding a hand under the waistband of his pants, Pat grips himself and moans, length hot to the touch.  What would it be like...what if...the pic was meant for Pat?  Patrick props his phone up against his thigh and falls into the fantasy.  

 

Jonny sure knew how to send one hell of an invitation.  Suddenly, it’s as if Pat’s right there with him, face tucked into the crook of Jonny’s neck, mouth sucking wetly at the skin between his teeth, hands desperately occupied with adding to the mess along Jon’s abs.  Jonny leaning impossibly closer, nosing along the shell of Pat’s ear and murmuring  _ répondez s'il vous plaît _ .

 

Patrick gasps, cinching his fingers tight around the base, an abortive thrust of his hips almost knocking his phone to the floor.  Eyes dilated, heart racing, and curls matted at his temples, Patrick knows exactly how to respond.  Fuck it, Pat thinks, stripping off his clothes and leaving a trail on the way to the bathroom, dick fat and bobbing obscenely, the tip an angry red.

 

He grins, dimples popping, as he tests the water pressure.  Jonny isn’t the only one that can be artistic.  

 

Besides, Patrick’s photogenic as fuck.

 

* 

 

The shot is taken in profile, dick achingly thick and standing proudly against his abdomen.  Rivulets of water stream down the length of his torso, light glinting off of the pendant on his chain, and nipples pebbled from exposure to the cooler air from the open shower door.

 

Pat bites his bottom lip, a brief moment of hesitation, before pressing send.

 

Jon’s response is immediate, as if he’s been waiting patiently for Pat all this time.

 

**Don’t dry off**

**I’ll be there in 10**

 

Patrick beams.  What an asshole.

  
He sends back an eggplant emoji.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hello at my [tumblr](http://gin-gin-jen.tumblr.com/)


End file.
